Glamour, shopping and cellulite
Probably the most exciting news of the wedding so far is that I have started honeymoon clothes shopping and bought the greatest swimming costume ever and a pair of black linen trousers. As I’m not exactly blessed with an abundance of spare cash at the moment, I’m trying to be sensible and buy the perfect holiday capsule wardrobe. Although I’ve gone and done what I probably shouldn’t have done and bought a pair of trousers too small with the hope of squeezing into them by the holiday.
I’m interested to know what everyone’s three things they can’t go on holiday without are. I’m not sure of mine – it’s been so long since I had a beach holiday. Of course, if I’m camping my must haves are wellies, a torch and sheepskin rugs. However, I think that if I arrived in Mexico (or wherever the hell we’re going) armed with these things people might stare. A lot. They’d probably say “¿Quién es esa chica loca Wellingtons usar y llevar las ovejas?”.
As I always do before a holiday, I picture myself relaxing on the beach or in a pretty beachside cafe, cocktail in hand, huge hat and sunglasses on, about a foot taller, a stone lighter and with thick, shiny blonde locks flowing down my back. Why do I torture myself like this? As if I’m going to mirror the glamorous model I saw in Marie Claire’s holiday feature I read on the plane. No, I will still be 5ft 1”, look terminally ill without makeup, have to wear prescription glasses, sweat bucket loads, be bloated due to stuffing myself with food potentially causing an upset stomach, and be spotty and greasy after the stress and anxiety of a wedding and long haul flight. My only saviour will be to buy Heat and look at the celebrities’ holiday photos. At least I won’t arrive back in the UK to find my cellulite, muffin top and sweat sodden t shirt plastered all over the front page of a weekly magazine. Small mercies.
Jaxx x
Three things? I think a small travelling library of books I’d never get round to reading otherwise, a laptop (or maybe a netbook – perhaps I should pop that on the wedding list?) and money for prostitutes my beautiful new wife are I’ll I’ll need. By way of a shameless plug, Mr & Mrs Smith did post a list of fabulous travel accessories not long ago, from which you may wish to draw inspiration…
Anthony xxx
